Being a self counselor

Like someone said.,thinking of the past is such a waste..But what if it has a role to play in future..?No one ever tried understanding me..Yeah i took IIT in my eleventh and twelfth.,but it had a reason..Reason is simple..Because you said only an engineer has a good name and fame and i fell into the trap like many other students seeing those crap advertisements..End of these two years., i get to see that this corporate colleges gave you nothing but tons of materials to just mug up..!They have a god damn formula that you gotta mug up to answer each question in an exam..!I hate this system of MUGGING things up..!Where the hell are your brains..?Let us USE them..!This isn't a life i imagined for myself..!This isn't..!I imagined a life where people are judged based on their talents..Not on their ability to mug things up..

I just let every other damn person to just take control over me..And now all i see is that.,the thing i tout i will never ever let any one interfere, MY CAREER is at stock..!!Who really values what you want..? If you think your parents do.., your wrong..! They may be right at their place..,seeing the best possible options where their kids settle better than what they are..True..They want a better life for their kids..No harm in that,Nothing wrong..But this isn't what we want from my life..!And like everybody else even I wanted all together different things..!Well who doesn't dream..?And may be someday., I will make those dreams of mine true..? But Yeah., mistake is mine..I never had enough guts to say a NO to my dad..I just did what ever he asked me to do..I just compromised..At first., it all seamed easy, it all seamed so simple to just shut up..But now., i see it..I hate none but myself..! I blame none but myself.!After all i was the one who decided to compromise with stuff rite..?Then why am i backing off now..?Why am i Hating myself now..?Stuff hidden deep inside are just coming out now.,But this isn't fair..Is it..?Yeah it isn't..!I'm sorry mom..'MOM., you won the game..!' You really did..! I will do what you wanted me to..Become an engineer..? Yeah, i will mom..!! No big deal..!And yeah i will do it with interest., i swear..!At least i will make you happy and i will be called a good daughter if i do it, right mom..?I will do it for you mom.,I WILL..I will because mom.,I LOVE YOU..And who knows.,I may start liking it someday..