D.E.P.R.E.S.S.E.D

Whats really wrong with me..?I'm into AIEEE..!!I prayed so much that i should get into it..Now that im in., why am i not happy..!?!?! I so wanted a seat it in AIEEE..!I even did..! What..? 6812..? Is that a rank..?Damn..!I so hate this..!May be this is the only reason,im unable to face anyone..Can't be proud..!Mom,I'm so sorry..!I dint keep keep up your hopes.!Makes me feel so bad.., it so is.!

A Fairytale Journey

Who ever imagined that i will get what i wished for when i almost it lost..?Well,in this beautiful journey called life i am blessed i found people who love me for what im..Maybe after all.,'A few Fairy tales have happy endings'..!And now its my turn to thank every one who helped me in this..My friends, they have been a real great support to me..Neva imagined they would react so positive., well may be they always were positive..Rho,Abhi,Adi,Sel..thank you guys..! thanks for being with me always..!I was a lil foolish for acting mad,crazy or what ever..!I'm really very sorry if i was rude at any point of time..,it wasn't intentional..Rho and Abhi,If i by chance don't reply to your msgs or call you guys back., scream at me..!You have that right over me..Max,Draco,Jeni thanks for all that you guys ever did..!I swear you guys did the best part of it..Max,thanks for being on my side..Draco.,my dearest bro., thanks for being optimistic..It somehow helped me handle the situation..Jeni., you are a real sweetheart like remus says..,Max is lucky..! :)

And finally.,Remus,my Sweetheart.,Thanks a million..!Thanks for understanding that you are my life and i just can't live without you..It surprises me if i just look at how we meet and what you mean to me now..But sai.,a small request..I'm a total kid..!Like any other gurl., even im a Lil egoistic..I expect you to always understand me or what so ever..I took this relationship way too seriously and yeah you do mean the whole world to me.. I just wont understand myself sometimes..I tend to think a way too much.., sometimes about complicated stuff while sometimes about nothing at all and Silliest things get me worried or sad..,but please bear with me sai..This is my only request..I somehow can't change this kid in me, so please just forgive me if i ever act stupid..If i ever scream at you.., it purely wouldn't be intentional..All i can say is that please bear with me sai.., i just love you..!

TWILIGHT

"Bella,can i talk to you..?"
she recognized that voice the very moment..! "Edward.!".."Oh-Yeah-sure" she managed to say trying not to sound curious..

"Bella, this is a little sirius.. I dono where to start it, or what to even say..".Staring at his beautiful face, she wondered what that could be..

"Bella,ILoveYou,WillYouBeWithMe.?IWanaMarryYou.!"Shocked and surprised with her own good luck,she stared at him for a moment trying to figure out if she was only dreaming..!

"Edward, are you proposing to me.?"

"Well i sort am..This is what you wanted anyways.,right..?"he said trying to sound a lil confident..

"Edward,Im just seventeen.!"She teased him unable to believe what she was hearing..

"well, don't marry me now Bella,but later can you..?"He managed to say rather not blabbering..

"Edward.Oh my god..! I can't believe my ears..!Is this really true..?Or am i Dreaming it--"was all she managed to say..,as Edward pulled her close to him and hugged her tight assuring her that it wasn't any dream.!They were like that may be for like ages for neither wanted to let go the other..

"Bella,Can i take this as a "yes"..? You see im dying outa tension in here.."Smiling at her dear lil sweet heart,still resting her head on his shoulder all she said was "Sure,I would love to"

Finally,did the Lion fall in love with the lamb..? Well,Of course it did.!

Fishy?!?!

Is something really wrong with me..?YEAH..!What the hell..?!?!

"Choco,your dad told that he will get about 50 diary milks.,will that be enough..?" screamed mom from the kitchen.."Mom.,?Whats going on.?Did bacha get her results..?Why are you geting her chocola--"DAMN..!Shit.!Its her BIRTHDAY tomorrow.!How the hell did i forget..?!?!?! Seams as if it was yesterday that i saw the movie 'kites' ,but sigh..! It was a week before..! Where the hell did the whole week vanish i wondered.!She came into the room when i was busy sketching for my nata..Peeped on to my sketching and asked.,"Di, what did you get for me..?".."For what bacha?your results aren't out yet nah.?"..Without another word the sad Lil girl walked outta the room..!!"How the hell did i forget her birthday..?", i cursed my self for a second and then got back to my sketching.! Yeah true im acting insane..! i have totally lost it..! Im sorry bachha..! I dint mean to forget your birthday..! A very happy birthday lil sis..! Swear i'l be with you when ever you need me., i promise..!

Apology

In my life.,'Friends=Smile'..True.How many will have such awesome friends like mine..?People who will bear my madness,stupidity and this kid in me.?Hardly any..!I'm a kinda person who is just loves to try out every damn crazy thing existing.!And with friends sorta these im truly blessed..How many of you can bear a person whose craziness reaches the sky..? Wel.,let me finish.!Im a kinda person who will plan for shopping in general bazaar when it gonna rain like hell.,i am very very attracted to stair case..What.? i meant i will trip and fall with out any sign,i hog like hell,i broke all the test tubes in my chem lab(well,not purposely),i discovered that trees love me in sense they get attracted to me and get stuck to me,lizard just pops from no where..!I have been called in that damn office room like a million times(i miss them now tho).! HUH !Don't think this is it.! Its a very small part of me..I love vodka.! Vodka.?!?!Yeah..!I love trying out all crazy stuff.!I'm glad i have all these guys with me and my craziness forever.!Who ever tought i will have such awesome buddies who will cry if i did..? Well, i never thought..!They run and come down to my place the moment they hear something is wrong with me..Rho and Abhi., you both have been the best part of my life..You were always there when i needed you guys..!My BFF's..!You guys know i love you rite..? Adi,my dear long lost friend,im sorry..!I know you will stop giving me advice now,but please don't do that..Siya,Vi,Shelly., guys your are truly awesome.! who will ever imagine one can just pop into my house the moment im depressed..? Guys., i love you all.! You are the best people in my life and i swear you will always be..!

But im sorry guys., i hid a small truth from all you guys.!I know it isn't small., its huge..yet i hid it..!I'm sorry rho.,because i know you will be at most angry for this.!Guys, i neva hid a word from you people yet i din have gutts to say this to you people..I was acting as if im fine.,as if things are normal but all that was purely fiction..Remember guys i told i will live a life for myself forgetting remus..?Damn .! That was a lie.!I'm sorry..!I know what you people have to say..,Just that im clinking onto a ghost.,dono whats really wrong with my senses.,if im really mad., or may be im INSANE..Yet,truth is that,I can't forget this guy people.,i just can't..!He is still the same for me..The same guy i met ,the only guy i ever loved..I can't do this any more guys., im sorry..!I still am crazily and madly in love with this guy and i really mean it..Im Sorry if i hurt you people,i swear i really am..!Its my personal view of this thing.I aint expecting anything..Nothing positive..Just leting you people know whats going on through me..I never hid a word so i wanted to let you people know..I'm sure i wont be able to tell you guys anything in person..

P.S:Rho, you have all rite to slap me if your anger reaches the max extent..!but please no gussa nah..?
@others:I'm sorry..!

Story Trap

Remus > Busy bee:Tomorrow,the first thing you will do just after you get up even before you brush your teeth is to tell Tonks that "I love her soo much".!

@Busy bee,Abhi,Draco,Jake,Sel,Syia,Vi and Shelly:Guys,i dono whats really wrong with us..But i guess we 'broke up'.!I wish i was only dreaming guys yet this is it..!

Siya,Vi,Shelly > Tonks:congrats.!finally you understood..!He isn't worth you.!

Busy bee > Tonks:what the fuck!how the hell can this be possible.!?I just can't believe this.!I don't trust people so easily but this guy shattered me tonks.!and im not in a position to face you..I myself can't take it so tell me how the hell can i help you out..?
Well put all this aside..Tell me one thing Tonks.,"Are you fine?"

Abhi > Tonks:I wanna slap that guy for having done this to you.!I lost all the respect i ever had for him.!I trusted him and this is what he does to my friend.?Damn him.!

Busy bee,Abhi > Tonks:Don't worry tonks,you will find a better guy than him.!A guy who will never dare hurting you.!Move on with life Tonks,just move on..And im sure you will find a better guy than him..This guy just isn't worth you..You are far too good for him..!

Draco,Sel,Jake > Tonks:Don't loose hope..Have trust.!He isn't a bad guy..Just have faith and trust..What ever happens,happens for a reason..

@Siya,Vi,Shelly:Guys,i know you people love me a lot.! you guys will do anything to just see me smile..And i swear im lucky for having you people as my best buddies.!

@Busy bee:I'm fine..Nothings wrong with me..I understand what you are going through tho..You trusted this guy more than you trusted me.!Busy bee,i always wanted you to know how i really felt,yet you never showed any interest in this subject..I wanted you to say that even now i don't hate this guy..somewhere in my heart i still love him rho..And im sorry..

@Abhi:I understand whats going on through you..You were the first person who spoke to him.And i still remember the way he used to pull your leg..It purely understandable..You were there when i was going on endlessly about this guy..You did all this just to make me realize that you are still "alive"..well i understood.. :P

@Sel,Draco:You guys have been a great help to me..I thought you people will never talk to me again after we broke up yet you saved me by not doing this.!Thanks a million for this small gift..! :)

@All the above:Now i really feel that love teaches you many things on how to live life..It teaches you to be patient and forgiving and yeah time spent in it are really very special.Guys,like you said i may find another guy in my life..No doubt i will..Yet,i don't want it..I love this peepz..I love begin single,all to myself..I'm having enough time to just escape into my own world of fantasy..I saw "TWILIGHT" for like 7 times..WHY..? Because I related my guy to Edward..! Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk and discuss this thing with and clear my god damn head...Never mind this..! BTW, I swear i love you guys a lot..!You people were such a great support to me..Thanks for holding on with me when i was sad,mad,angry,hurt or extremely crazy..You guys were with me even when i told that i wanna drink vodka and try out a hookah...Don't worry guys.,I wont any longer bug you guys about him..You people were there with me suggesting which gift i had to gift him on his birthday and somehow it did help..True that this din't end the way i wanted it to end.,well life isn't a bedtime story which will only have happy endings rite..?

A sweet murmur..

In the last few months,I have lost myself somewhere..Well,yeah..!I was A person who was a total freak,a crazy person in short who just loves her self..! You can say that im rather selfish about things that are mine.. but now i see that everything is changed..! Im no longer the same person who loves herself..! Now i somehow hate myself..!

May be yeah..,the only reason behind it is that im studying subjects im least interested in..No doubt i like chem,i just love it and im sure i can manage with math and phy as well,but this isn't what im really for.I like colors,love to escape this place into my own world of fantasy and imaginations.Thought mum would understand me but may be i was wrong..!I thought she would realize this isn't my world yet she dint.She wants to see her daughter as an other engineer..! May be this is all how it has to end..Who cares about what i wanna do..?"Mom,i don't wanna become an engineer,let me do what i want.!"..Im sure mum will never read this so it doesn't even matter..According to my parents,the only course that will earn you some respect is engineering for the reason that one has to sit and solve stuff rather than wander your minds into the space and expand your imaginations..!

I may sound very selfish,yet i want it the way i dreamt of.im sure i don't wanna regret looking back at my past.I want things to be the way i wished for i want it to be worth looking back at..I want to create my own existence in this big world,so that tomorrow if some thing really goes wrong i will never blame any one..yet nothings gonna really change..!Knowingly or unknowingly i have hurt my mum a lot..!She has been a great support to me..And i don't wanna hurt her any more..I will do this.,do this damn thing just for her..

The yellow orange sunshine

*wonder if she will ever smile*

I still want all that i desired the most in my life to just come upon me.And im sure i'l wait all my life for it to come true.At present,i think im going through a phase where i only see things taken away from me.Life is just playing a cruel game.In my life,i put a few things or just say i marked my own belongings and i trusted that god would never tamper with my stuff,but NO.!He had something al together for me i gues..Everything i really wished should stay with me are slowly began to vanish.That person,he who calls himself GOD began to snatch everything that ever made me smile.But now as iwake up,i get to discover that everything is shattered.Now im just awake and all i see is that im totally defeated by this so called HOPE..!

...Afterall,every fairy tale needn't have a happy ending..