I feel so strange staying awake all night for I am a
person who is always so into jumping off to the bed. Wonder what really is into
me that I hardly wanna rest. There is some kind of a hallow inside me, as if some kind of a black hole in me that has been constantly
pulling me into it. I really dunno what this feeling is and I still am struggling
as to find out what I'm dealing with. All I know is that I have to deal with
myself, something very intense, that has never happened to me before today. My mind's
all together in another planet and there are these million things I wish to do,
and do it the right way. Life has been fair enough to me is what I feel. Call it
my fortune or anything else, life just somehow come to me the way I wanted it. It
gave me the ability to choose the right set of people always. Mistakes? Yes, I did
make them. But the life on the other side never made me think of those wrong
choices I made in the due course. All this while, I have been taking life the
way it came. Curiosity, I tend to do a lotta things because I am too curious to
know what will happen if I did that, what will happen if I spoke to 'that'
particular person. I kept exploring myself in every possible way. I came so
far. But somewhere, down the gut I know I haven't made enough. What else do I do
now? I feel this crazy disturbance. One that doesn't let me sleep in peace, nor
gives me peace me peace when I am wide awake. It as if the whole world wants to
help me in their own little tiny way which is something i'm just not understanding.
Off lately, there is this one quote that probably sunk into me so deep, I still
wonder what does it have to do with me "I don’t wanna be rich, I don’t wanna
be famous, I don’t wanna be happy, I just wanna be great". I donno what to
decipher from it, but off lately it has been eating me up so much.
